Imagine this for a moment: It’s 8pm Monday night and your phone rings. You look down and see that your ex is calling. You want to win your girl back, but so far she’s been hesitant. You can feel the moist sweat on your hands. You start talking to yourself, rehearsing what you would say if you decide to pick up the phone.
After a few seconds go by you convince yourself to answer.
The conversation starts off good, but then somehow it starts getting sour and she’s telling you why she was mad at you during the last few days of your relationship. You respond by telling her how much you miss her, love her, and how you will never find someone like her again. She doesn’t engage. You say it again. She says she has to go.
You call her back. She doesn’t pick up. You text her. She doesn’t reply. You go to sleep that night and don’t hear back.
Mistakes with her are magnified
Most men will never understand why this happened, but you are about to learn why right now.
Arguing or fighting with your ex is pretty much the worst thing you can do. The last thing you need is another mistake. Another argument about what was or what happened. When you want to win your girl back, your interactions must be taken with caution and a mistake you make today is not weighed the same as during the relationship. In fact, it’s weighed a lot more.
So while you may think, “Oh, well this was just one setback.” What you are forgetting is that in this stage, these mistakes start to layer on themselves like a smelly onion, and eventually you reach a point where getting her back isn’t possible. The best way to avoid these mistakes, is to know what they are ahead of time.
The 4 mistakes that won’t make you win your girl back
Mistake #1: Go all out on your feelings
Let’s dissect the call on the top of the page.
Instead of telling her how much you love her and miss her when she was getting upset, what you should have said is, “I understand where you are coming from.”
When your ex is mad at you, she doesn’t necessarily want to know that you love her. She knows this already! She wants to know that you GET HER. That you have empathy. She wants to feel that if you argue, she can trust that you understand her feelings and not think she’s a crazy woman.
I’m not suggesting you don’t share your feelings, but there’s a time and place for everything. Flip the script for a moment. If a woman told you how much she loved you and wanted to be with you, and you are already on the fence to date her, would there be any urge to hang out with her? Or put a title on it? Not really. The reason is because you have all the power and there’s no rush.
We want what we can’t have.
Mistake #2: Accept every invitation from your girl
Accepting every invitation from your ex to hang out is telling your ex that you have nothing else going on in your life and their life is worth more than yours. Even if you have nothing to do, pass up on some of the invites or at the very least, work around your schedule, not hers.
This will arouse her curiosity.
Mistake #3: Ask if she’s dating someone else
A true confident man doesn’t care to compare, because he knows what he brings to the table. All you are doing is showing her that you fear the other man. You can show the exact opposite by just not giving a shit.
Think James Bond would ever ask about another guy?
Mistake #4: Change who you are for who she wants you to be
- She wants you to grow a beard. Don’t.
- She wants you to buy nike shoes when you are more of an adidas dude. Don’t.
- She wants you to talk differently. Don’t.
You get the picture.
If you change who you are, she will know that she still has you under her control. That isn’t motivating and that won’t help you win your girl back.
What other mistakes am I missing? Share in the comments below and I’ll reply back.