I know your breakup is one of the most challenging emotional experiences you may ever face in your lifetime, but you can turn your breakup pain into a positive experience by making a choice right now.
A choice to…
Get busy livin’ or get busy sorrowin’.
That’s my spin on the classic quote from the number one rated film in IMDB and a personal favorite of mine, The Shawshank Redemption.
The reality is that the cost to do what you want in your life is relatively NOTHING.
This is the new world that we live in.
You can wake up today and be whoever you want to be.
You see, there’s this thing called the internet. It has completely gotten rid of any barriers and excuses people come up with in their head about not making their vision a reality.
Most of these justifications are complete nonsense and now the internet is here to smoke you out of your bullshit, because we live in the most privileged time in history, and there’s no better time to start than RIGHT NOW.
“Right after my breakup, Payam?! Are you nuts? I’m in pain!”
Yes, right after your breakup.
See, when it comes to starting a new venture, people tend to come up with excuses. Most of
which somehow revolve around time, money, or freedom.
Well, you just got all three of these back.
- The time you would be spending with your ex, you now have.
- The money you would be spending with your ex, you now got.
- The freedom you may not have had, you just replenished.
So, whether you are in school, working, unemployed, or have kids, you just gained some pretty amazing things in your life, and it’s critical that you change your outlook and turn your breakup into a positive experience.
But I’m still dealing with breakup pain
But, what are you going to do? You can be a half glass empty kinda dude or a glass half full kinda dude. Which do you think I’m going to suggest is better?
To some extent the energy you put out, is the energy you will get back.
You can either think about your breakup pain constantly and feel bad for yourself or you can choose to live and focus the attention back on yourself by creating something.
I don’t care if it’s a piece of artwork, a new video, a startup, a website, anything.
What’s interesting is that not only is pursuing a new project helpful in distracting yourself from your ex, but now you are becoming more attractive. It gives you something to talk about when you talk to her again.
Think about it…
When you are with company that’s boring, predictable, and just…meh, how’s your energy level? I’m willing to bet it isn’t very good.
Contrast that with someone that is smarter than you. Someone more ambitious. Someone that is trying to do something creative. How are you feeling then? I’m guessing a little motivated or inspired.
In other words, you feel GOOD.
How you behave WILL correlate to how your ex will FEEL. This means that you can control how your ex will feel, by first changing how you feel internally about the situation.
The formula is literally inside-out, my friends. Shift your perspective to how you view the world and the world will view you differently.
Focus on you, to focus on her.
Breakup pain sucks!
Believe me, I know breakups suck and she’s on your mind every fucking day, but you still have a choice. Do you want to look at the glass half empty or half full? It’s your call.
I’ll tell you something though, the world won’t feel sorry for you or your breakup. Posting your story on reddit? No one gives a shit about your pain. You may get some sympathy comments, but 5 min later that person forgot totally about you.
Do you know why?
Because everyone is FOCUSED ON THEMSELVES. Their own relationships, problems, agendas, etc. It’s time to wake up, and turn that attention back to you, too.
Turn breakup into something positive
Twist this breakup pain into a positive experience. Let’s turn your breakup into a MAJOR turning point in your life.
Go back to your passions, your hobbies, and your dreams. What excites you? What drives you?! GO GET IT!
Yesterday is done. Focus on what you can start doing right now.
Case study: How would Kobe Bryant handle pain?
I remember watching a video of the great Kobe Bryant years ago. It was a post-game interview and his team had just lost.
Truthfully, I’m more of a Michael Jordan kinda guy, but I respect Kobe’s determination and mentality ESPECIALLY when he’s faced against a very difficult challenge.
For those of you that don’t know, in the NBA playoffs, the first to win 4 games (best of 7 series), wins the NBA series.
His team was down 3 to 0. In other words, he would have to win 4 straight games against a team that’s better and stronger than his own.
When asked about his thoughts about how his team was going to comeback and win 4 straight, which is something no team in NBA history has done, he said, “We aren’t thinking about that. We are just thinking about the next game. That’s it. Just one game.”
Why do you think he’s doing that?
I’ll tell you what I think. Because he knows that if he looks at the long journey ahead it can overwhelm him, seem impossible, and take the focus away from what he and his team needs to do to be successful — RIGHT NOW.
This is what you are facing gentlemen.
Your breakup is the same as being down 3-0.
Try not to look too far ahead, but instead focus every ounce of your attention on the very next thing you need to do, how you need to do it, and then DO IT.
My final plea…
Look, I’m not sure if you know this or not, but we’re all going to be dead soon.
If that doesn’t inspire you to try something new, take a risk, and turn your breakup into a positive experience, I’m not sure what will.
What’s holding you back the most? Comment and I’ll help you get over the edge.