“Ok I know what I need to do.” my friend said as he walked through my front door on a crisp early Sunday morning.
“Huh?” I responded. I sat there eating a healthy veggie egg-white omelette as we were preparing to embark on a long hike.
He continued, “Alright, so check this out! I talked to John and he said that he heard if I text her on Monday after 6pm, then follow up with a joke, she may text me back. What do you think?”
Does that sound like a strategy a confident person that knows their worth would say? Of course not.
Overwhelmed with options
See, what you don’t know about my friend is that every week for the last 6 weeks, he has come to me with other advice he’s heard from friends about what he should do to get his ex back, and now he’s overwhelmed with options.
Now every time he asks me something, he compares and contrasts each option and picks whichever one makes more sense to HIM at that very moment with how he’s feeling. This is wrong and incredibly risky. In general, the more options you have, the harder it is for you to see straight.
Take this guy. Mark Zuckerberg. His net worth is about $52.3 Billion. Look at what he wears almost every single day:
Do you know why? So he doesn’t have to think about it. It’s one less decision during the day. One less worry. One less contemplation.
He gets up and knows what he needs to wear, he isn’t deciding between the purple cashmere sweater and the Kanye West extra-extra-long white v-necks.
Eliminate your options
He’s eliminated being overwhelmed by eliminating his options. This is what you need to do to be focused. Don’t ask a billion people for breakup advice, especially your friends. A lot of friends naturally tell you what you want to hear as opposed to what you should hear. So if you come to them asking if she’ll take you back, guess what they will say?
“Of course she will, you are a great guy dude!”
This will give you false sense of hope and lead you to make a mistake that can cost you. For now, focus on yourself and the foundations of creating attraction. Asking all your friends for advice does the opposite. You become overwhelmed and start to make panicked emotional decisions.
This is why getting breakup advice from one source is best. Just to be clear, that doesn’t have to be me. I work with highly respectable men and I may not be the right coach for you. You can learn from whoever you want, but you can’t focus on what you need to do by crowdsourcing and taking polls.
The consequences of getting too much breakup advice
When you mix strategies, then your words and actions will be incongruent. Because one day you are playing hard-to-get and the next you are professing your love because Susie from the salon told you it’s a good idea to “just be real.” Sound familiar?
Listen, fuck Susie. She’s confusing the balls out of you and ultimately your confusion leads to dishonesty in your ex’s eyes. Is that what you want?
Just don’t keep bring up this topic to other people. It will be challenging and that’s why you need to be assertive and let your friends know.
“I’ve decided I do not want to talk about my ex anymore. Thanks for your input before, but moving forward I rather not discuss her.”
That’s all. They’ll respect you if you are direct & concise. From now on focus on your behavior, not the breakup advice from multiple people.
Who do you get relationship advice from? Reddit? YouTube? Quora? Let me know in the comments below.